Thursday, June 25, 2009

Beefy Biceps.

Tina begs to differ, but I feel as if Nick Lachey is the world's first super douche-bag.


Look at him - Beefy Biceps. Beefy Bicep tattoo. Frosted tips. Reality TV show. Boy Band. Confident swagger.
I could keep going, but I'd be here all day. (That's what she said.)
He's the male equivalent to a turbo slut.



Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Oh Mylanta!

DJ Tanner had the best insults.

"Nerd Bomber" was my favourite.

Friday, June 19, 2009

"Let's Keep it Clean"

OK, Fine.
Sorry Tina.
I neglect this blog, I realize that.
From now on, I'm giving you a 3 post a week guarantee.

One thing I've been really thinking about lately is that time I beat Mike Tyson in "Mike Tyson's Punch Out", and how no one believes me.

It really happened, people!

I was using the game genie at the time and I got the code for the Mike Tyson level off the Internet (I had to - I usually can't make it past king hippo, that fat bastard.) , so I guess you could call it semi-cheating - but I did take down the monster. And really, isn't that the only thing that matters?

I remember the day like it was yesterday.
I was 22 years old. Hot off the heels of a break-up with my first boyfriend, I had been living at my parent's house. The first order of business was for me to hook up my old Nintendo to the TV in my bedroom. At the time, Nintendo was therapeutic for me. Nothing mends a broken heart like 8-bit graphics and worn down thumb pads.

This had not been my first attempt to take the great one down.
Many times, I had punched in that code (007 373 5963), only to get my ass handed to me on a platter.

However, for some reason, this time was different. I felt it.

I don't remember how the next 3 minutes went. It was all a blur.
I do remember being shocked that I managed to go 3 minutes without being knocked out.

Then, it happened.

The referee had ruled in my favor!
Mike Tyson had the "I'm so pissed off I lost" look on his face.
I frantically looked around to see if anyone had witnessed my victory, but sadly, no one was there to see.


Whenever I tell anyone about this, they don't believe me.
And it consumes me.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Leppy What the Deuce

Alright so basically I write this blog on my own. Which is fine but, should I change the name to Tina VS Tina?
It will be like Kramer Vs Kramer but not nearly as famous!
In a fit of holy crap-ness I wanted to mention something that completely slipped my mind until recently. Remember that song, MMM MMM MMM MMM. What sort of name was that? I mean come on! That Crash Test Dummies song was freaking creepy. CREEPY! It kind of freaked me out when I was a little kid. I mean i walked around fearing that my hair was going to suddenly turn bright white when I woke up in the morning. And I never attended church because i was scared that I would shake and lurch and puke all over the church floor. That said...dudes voice was deep. Once on pop up video I learned that when he was in choir he actually sang alto or something like that. Oh pop up video how informative you were. Where are you now?
Hey they were canadian too! From Winnipeg, and you thought nothing good came out of Winnipeg and by good I mean half decent-sort of.
Fuck fine. I liked them. Assholes.
DO you remember the album that song came off of? God Shuffled His Feet, what a messed up album cover...no really look...



CRAZY!

Monday, June 1, 2009

This Blog Is Falling Apart At It's Seams, You Maggot!

I would like to take a moment to say that I am not too good for this blog, unlike Christene who is riding around on her high horse in the office telling people how she has three days to live. Yeah yeah yeah we get it your name is featured in the new horror movie. I'm just jealous because the likelihood that a movie is going to be made with my name is slim to none, "T.L Tyson has a job she doesn't understand, a boyfriend who takes bubble baths and way more years to grace this earth before she dies and the world collectivly sighs with relief"

Anyways, does anyone remember the game Nightmare?
It actually scared the shit out of me when I was a little kid. People would be like "Let's play Nightmare" and I was like "YEAH!", and then I would say I have a stomach cramp and hide in the bathroom for the duration of the game.
I didn't enjoy being called a maggot or a harbingers....
The Gatekeeper was simply a control freak and just when you think you were getting ahead and going to make it out of the game with your sanity he punished you.

Does anyone have this game? I think we should get together and play it.



(Completely off topic the song, Take My Breath Away by Berlin is playing on a coworkers radio and all I can think about is how Dangerous Iceman is out there.)