Billboard Hits Of 2009

The other day I got it in my head to get in touch with the kids and download some popular music to see just what it is the teenagers were listening too. While perusing Mininova I came across a file titled 'Billboard hits of 2009'. This struck me as oddly entertaining so I was like okay.

First off it's March. How can there be 100 hits already? Is the rest of the year screwed. Regardless this is what I learned.

1. Pink is still making music.

2. So is Britney Spears

3. Every song features T.I

4. Out of 100 songs there were only 6 that I actually liked and they all featured either T.I, Justin Timberlake or T-Pain.

5. Beyonce is full of herself

6. Kids these days like whiney music. (and there was a Lifehouse song in the 100 and that scared me because they were the biggest mistake of 2000 when No Name Face came out and people thought 'hey these guys aren't bad'.

7. Bands really like to synthasize their voices. Apparently sounding like a robot is cool.

8. It is popular to have lyrics about popping champagne

9. Adele was the only female that could actually sing. (oh and lily allen)

10. Katy Perry should be shot in the face. (how does she have three hits?)


Take from this what you will.

And a confusing part of the below pie chart is the biggest section is 'pop' yet there is another section titled 'teen pop'. Are not pop and teen pop the same?

Gimme Gimme more.

I don't know about you, but for me, the happiest day of my life happened in September 2007.
There I was, sitting on my couch, channel surfing.
By some divine twist of fate, I landed on the 2007 MTV VMAs.
I typically don't watch awards shows, as I think they are a stupid waste of time, but for some reason I thought "I think I need to see this."
Then, I hear the three words that will forever change my life.

"It's Britney Bitch"

There she was. All cracked out and in a sequined bikini. Britney Spears. All poised to make her big comeback.
The next three minutes were a blur of stumbles and half-assed dance moves. I sat there, transfixed. I was witnessing the exact moment someone hit rock bottom.

And it was fantastic.

Whenever they panned to the audience, people were either laughing or screwing their faces up in disgust. And when it was over, everyone was thinking the same thing.

What the fuck was that?

I know she's on the straight and narrow now, but sometimes I long for the good old days when Britney Spears was everyone's favourite little train wreck.

Oh Well.
If I want to relive the moment, I'll always have YouTube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukLm8EA9CvM