What Would You Do?

Remember when City High thought it would be a good idea to write a song about Loni? I certainly hope she isn't a real girl. Could you imagine how pissed she would be when her friend comes over and is like, "Hey, Loni! Did you hear that new City High song?" followed with, "Didn't you go to school with that guy?"

I'd be fuming.

So what would you do?

First off, I wouldn't start my music video with some horrible little skit that everyone skips anyway.

Secondly, I wouldn't be taking my clothes off for money, maybe putting more on.

Third, I wouldn't unload my personal shit on a guy I went to high school with when I run into him again at the local titty show. Nor would I even go outside with him. That's just a dangerous situation right there...clearly Loni doesn't have street sense.

To be honest, it sounds like Loni made some poor mistakes. We all make them, but if every day she wakes up hoping she'll die, then she has bigger issues than shaking her jugs down at the old thong-club. She needs to talk to someone, and not some sketchy guy who is shoving fives in her g-string.

And should she be taking advice from this drunk guy slobbering over her jiggly ass, really? Really? I wouldn't. I'd be like. "Uh, it's Saturday and your liquor is over flowing your cup. And you're grinding with four or five strippers, what would you know?"

Not only that, but maybe he should get off of his high horse. Who's he to judge her?

I'll tell you what I would do if my son was at home, crying on the floor cause he's hungry. I'd go to my parents/friends and say, "Listen here, I got myself into a pickle, could you help me out?" And, if I hadn't burned all my bridges, they would give me some food for my little rug rat.

At least Loni served it up cold. For him, it was just a good time, but for her...it was what she called life. I think she needs to reevaluate her options.

N.K.O.T-Weeeeeee!!

Now, this has been quite the year for the comebacks.
I, for one, could not be happier.
It seems as if they're bringing back everything I remember from my childhood, which, sadly, makes me feel old and kind of pathetic.
I'm kind of like the scuzzy middle aged lady who frequents Chicago Tonight only for their "Ladies Night" thinking she has a chance with 'Stallion', the stripper who dresses up like a cowboy.
You know, night clubs never have those ladies nights with the male strippers any more. What happened? My friend Kristyl and I once went to the Mirage too early on a Friday night (for those not in the know, the Mirage held their "ladies night" every friday) back when we were 19 and were treated to quite the sausage show. We never made that mistake again. No wonder I waited so long to lose my virginity (I also had no real offers, but that's beside the point). These grown men, pranced around while droves of sex-deprived middle-aged women screamed things like "Shake it for Momma!"

What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, comebacks.

I, for one, am most happy to see the New Kids back in action.
I loved those crazy little bastards.
I wanted to marry Joe McIntyre. Maybe it was the hat he used to wear with the cut-out on the top so his curls could spill out.
Perhaps that is the root of my fascination of curly haired men....Damn you, Joe McIntyre!
At one point, I was so obsessed with New Kids, I used to fantasize about joining the band.
What purpose would I serve in the band? I'd be this awkward, chubby 8 year old girl just standing there. I would be just like Atlas from Catwalk. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catwalk_(TV_series)
(Ahhhh Catwalk...There's a show they should re-make.

What was I thinking?

All the time I was all about the Joe, I could have been lusting after Donnie. Now, there's a man you can sink your teeth into. He was all motorcycles and mullets.

Badass. If loving you is wrong, I don't wanna be right.