Gimme Gimme more.

I don't know about you, but for me, the happiest day of my life happened in September 2007.
There I was, sitting on my couch, channel surfing.
By some divine twist of fate, I landed on the 2007 MTV VMAs.
I typically don't watch awards shows, as I think they are a stupid waste of time, but for some reason I thought "I think I need to see this."
Then, I hear the three words that will forever change my life.

"It's Britney Bitch"

There she was. All cracked out and in a sequined bikini. Britney Spears. All poised to make her big comeback.
The next three minutes were a blur of stumbles and half-assed dance moves. I sat there, transfixed. I was witnessing the exact moment someone hit rock bottom.

And it was fantastic.

Whenever they panned to the audience, people were either laughing or screwing their faces up in disgust. And when it was over, everyone was thinking the same thing.

What the fuck was that?

I know she's on the straight and narrow now, but sometimes I long for the good old days when Britney Spears was everyone's favourite little train wreck.

Oh Well.
If I want to relive the moment, I'll always have YouTube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukLm8EA9CvM

Legend Has it, that he's a legend.

Now, I only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep last night, so this may appear slighty crackish.

Quite some time ago, I heard an old Hollywood rumor that made this dirty old lady's ears perk up in interest.

According to insiders, 90210's Jason Priestley is one of the most well endowed men in Hollywood.

No wonder I liked him so much as a kid.

All kidding aside, I find this rumor kind of hard (hahhaha hard...nevermind) to swallow (hahahahahahahahah....again, nevermind.)

First of all, he's not the tallest dude out there. Compared to Steve Saunders, he's Matt Roloff. Now if someone was all like "Ian Ziering has the largest dong in the world", I'd believe them. I mean, look at his face. He must make up for his grotesqueness in at least one area, and why not the one area where it counts. Well, if you're Samanta from Sex and the City, it counts, but if you're a normal girl like myself, it's not the size of the boat that matters, it's the motion in the ocean. Was that too much information?

Secondly, I think I've seen the dude cross his legs like a lady, (I can't prove this, so don't ask me to.) which, from what I understand, the average male finds kind of difficult, let alone one with a larger than average plunker.

All this aside, I'm still slighty fascinated with Brandon Walsh's nether region.

Hearing this tidbit of juicy gossip prompted me to immediately dust off my copy of 90210 season 1, to do a little research, which basically came up fruitless. I paused and zoomed into his crotchetal area numerous times, at many many many different angles, and I'll admit, he did look like he was slightly packing. But let's be honest, it's nothing that a little panty stuffing wouldn't fix.

So, until I receive photographic evidence, (and if anyone has some, please send it this lonely old cougar's way) I'm going to go all Myth Busters style on this one consider this one busted.