Fadulous Is What I Call It

Blog buddy indeed!

I conqure about the fanny pack fad of the late eighties to early nineties, what were people thinking?
And then recently they thought they could bring them back and all the club-bunnies were sporting Louis Vuitton Fanny-paks and they were calling them "Bum Bag's" and I was like "I dont care what designer name you throw up on that fabric its still lame!" And girls the world over went clawing for my eyes.

There were a lot of Fad's that I didn't understand, but then there were the ones I totally got.

Like Mr. Noodles. Remember when you ate them dry and then the rumor went around that you would get worms if you ate them that way. And then I ate them more because I was trying to get a tape worm in hopes that I could shed a couple of LB's.
It didnt work, I didn't get a tape worm and I didn't loose weight, actually I just kept on gaining.


Another thing I never got. Colored pants.
And this is coming back I was in Urban Behaivor the other day (a store where if your over 21 you not allowed to go, they check your ID on the way in, and you cant get service and a large is really an extra small, and they put rhinestones and glitter on everything and the sixteen year old girl checking you out is sooooo slow she pops her gum and is like "yeah uhhh is this for you....grody", I have no idea why I was there upon reflection.) Anyways I saw yellow and purple jeans and I was like didnt designers learn there lesson in 92, that shits not right.

Oh Oh Oh, She's my covergirl.

Last night, I went over to my cousin Kelly's house and in anticipation of Friday's concert, she busted out her old New Kids on the Block VHS tapes.

I've never seen so many teenage boys wear so many fanny packs. Honestly, what were they carting around that necessitates a fanny pack? There's no excuse for a fanny pack. Unless you're a drug dealer or a 75 year old woman, there no excuse for a fanny pack. I don't care what year it was. They could quite possibly be the stupidest thing ever invented.

I'd like the see the boardroom meeting that they had when they came up with the idea of fanny Packs (because in my mind, everything is thought up/ invented in a boardroom by a bunch of suits. It's true, ask Tina).

"I got it! I've come up with a purse that you can wear around your - wait for it - WAIST!!!! LIKE A BELT!!!!!!! " And then all of the suits would look at each other, as if their minds have been blown. And then the CEO of Stupid Ideas Inc stands up and starts a slow clap, which eventually leads to a roaring applause by the rest of them. Out of nowhere, they start to play "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang. The champagne is flowing and Nancy from accounting gets drunk hooks up with the 19 year old mail room kid.

I had a Circus Circus Fanny pack when I was a kid. I could never wear it though, it was too small for me. Maybe if the person who went to Vegas should have actually thought, "Hey! Christene's quite the little butterball, I think I'll get her an adult sized fanny pack not this tiny tiny kids one, so she's not all embarrassed and has to wear it like a normal purse." What a horrifying thing for an 8 year old. No wonder I ate my feelings.

I once heard a that Donnie said that he wanted to meet all of the girls he pulled up onstage when he sang cover girl. Now, out of all the concert footage I've ever seen of him singing that song, the girls he pulled up basically looked the same. Around 7-8 years old, blond and cute.

He would have never pulled me on stage. First off, they would have needed to use a forklift. Again, I was the most vile, chubbiest kid. I only bathed every other week and had a sweet bowl cut. Everyone thought I was a boy.

I'm starting to think that he was pre-screening these girls.

Now, 18 years later, those girls are ripe for the picking. How convenient that he got divorced from his wife right before the New Kids went on tour. What a dirty old man. He thought he could get away with it too. Good thing I'm here with my little joint-blog with Tina (that no one reads but us and Rebs Rebs) to foil his plan.